Incident in the Mud

On Saturday I drove all the way up to Saruganjo, searching for this art exhibition Gari and Daniella were putting on. Of course it was raining, and I, houkou onchi that I am, took the wrong turning at the last fork, went up a small concrete back road, had a split second to think 'this doesn't look so promising' then I drove hyakuchan right over the lip of the road and deposited her left front wheel in a rice paddy.

I cursed the mini-skirted trollops working at the no-pants shabu shabu whose hypnotic pussies and longlegs had worked to convince the corrupt politicians who were being wined dined and sixty-nined by construction company reps that approving budgets to concrete the whole of bloody Taramizu to within 1 milimetre of each rice field was not the complete and terminal wastage of money that it patently was. When reversing did not work I got out and spent the next 90 minutes, in the pouring rain, up to my knees in mud, mukade and bilharzia, trying to wedge pieces of wood and rocks under the wheel to get some traction. Finally, Mai chan and a dozen ALTs, unbeknownst to me, 200 metres away and appreciating the joys of fine art, good wine and light-hearted sexual flirtation, deigned to turn their attention to the car they had been vaguely aware of laying over thefields (Mai chan: 'I thought that white car looked a little familiar. I wondered why it wasn't moving.') In the end it just took a couple of people to push while I swore to myself that I Would Never LeaveNejime Again Except To Go To The Airport To Leave.

The art exhibition was attended by well-dressed cliqueish types who looked askance at this barefoot, mud covered madman who flicked rice field slime over paintings. Several attractive women sneered and moved away to practise fellatio on someone else. Later we went to sushi which wasn't as enjoyable as usual because many had never seen me eat before and kept talking about it which served merely to confirm my freak status. I responded to their scrutiny by going home and picking the leeches off my balls.

Just another day in paradise.