Okay, so I made the second bit up.
The sumo match-fixing scandal has caused the March tournament in Osaka to be canceled, plunging the city's red light district into despondency. A staff member at one particular hostess club in the raunchy district of Kita Shinchi says, "Sumo wrestlers drink a lot with their huge body mass. Considering that nowadays we have been losing customers, this will have a big impact on sales."
A hostess from another club is shocked by the cancellation. "Since they have massive bodies," she says, "they do not push themselves over the limit. Plus they are good tippers. I just have to sit on their laps all night; it's not much work. They were good customers."
The area is well-known for cheap sex and quick and nasty blow jobs. 'A friend of a friend' tells me that the Chinese lasses at certain clubs can be talked down to 3,000 yen for rub 'n' tug.
Apparently the wrestlers turn up in groups that includes a number of attendants (tsukibito) and at least one sekitori (a wrestler in one of the top two ranks). The sekitori goes off to enjoy some 'health' with a young lady, while the attendants stay back and drink.
According to the hostess, when this year wrestlers rang to cancel reservations, they all called from public phones. "They were told not to use mobile phones."
Obviously that makes it okay then.
Not that I have the right to criticise them for going to brothels or hostess clubs. After all, sumo wrestlers aren't that attractive to most women, I guess. So fat, that, according to rumour, the top guys employ their attendants to wipe their arses for them. And now I find myself trying to get an image out of my mind: Yamamotoyama mixing it up with one of the Kita Shinchi lasses.
Too late. What I have seen cannot be unseen. Even if only in the mind.
|Yamamotoyama. A man's needs are a man's needs.|